It’s a deep practice and one of my biggest life lessons to keep my heart open when I feel abandoned or like things have been “taken away” from me. The tendency is to feel like a victim and close myself off from the world. The opportunity is to remember that I am always the creator of my experience and to allow the pain of loss to change me, to completely transform my life into something new. The most difficult situations are when my mental and emotional bodies are not in sync with my soul/spirit body. If I can tap into that higher intelligence within me I am able to feel once again how cared for and loved I am. I see a glimpse of the open door just ahead of the one that has been shut.
Don’t ever feel ashamed for being dumped.
For being the one who held on longest to that human dream of true love.
All this time you thought your insecurity, your emotional turbulence
meant there was something wrong with you,
that if you could just love yourself more
you could rise above the doubt creeping in.
But the truth is your brave heart simply couldn’t stop opening,
couldn’t stop surrendering.
Only the depth of your surrender, of your offering
was more than what he or she could offer in return.
The truth is your temporary low self esteem
was your wise emotional body communicating with you
that there was no longer a mutual flow of energy,
that your life force was being sucked into a vacuum.
And so you feel depleted, weary,
dipping into the lower vibrations of your being.
But it isn’t because you are confused.
No. You are actually very clear and aligned with your soul.
It isn’t that your heart, your feelings have started lying to you.
You’ve simply continued to open and are pressing up against the edge
of another’s willingness to open with you.
You are not asking for too much.
You are sending out an invitation so beautiful all of life is holding its breath.
So don’t settle for things between the two of you staying the same,
or worse, moving further away from your true heart’s desires,
telling yourself you’re being adventurous, experimental
by agreeing to have an open relationship.
The truth is we are moving into more expansive realms of relating, of loving,
but must we go about our evolution in such a brutal way-
pouring gasoline on our hearts to burn our illusions of separation?
Isn’t this humanity again trying to use our will to speed up the process?
Why are we so quick to accept concepts over our own body’s knowing?
Choosing to run like everyone else rather than move at our own body’s rhythm.
If you are not breathing deeply in life, in love
then your are moving too fast.
If you can’t feel your rib cage expanding on each inhale,
then there isn’t enough room in your body, in your relationship for your great big heart.
You have told yourself a lie along the way,
thinking that to be in relationship with someone so firey or free-spirited
you would have to be patient-you would have to compromise.
And it doesn’t matter how old you are.
Whether you are 22, 42 or 72 your heart wants passion. Your heart wants magic.
Your heart wants to see the ravishing beauty of its awesome love in physical form.
And when you create this love of your life, and only when,
you will know him or her with your whole being
because he or she has been within you all along.
And you won’t have to compromise or be afraid to surrender or make promises for life.
There simply will be no choice-because the two of you are one.
So don’t try to find him or here in a noisy bar,
but rather stay close to that powerful quiet inside of you
and you will know the substitutions who come to distract you,
who come to help you get clearer
as easily as your skin can tell 100% cotton from polyester.
And if you are unsure, when it is offered, say yes to love.
Say yes like there’s nothing wrong with you.
Say yes until you know what you want and what you don’t want.
Say yes until your whole being screams a resounding “No!”-
until your addiction to anything less falls off like overripe fruit.
Because that’s when you begin to live in love every moment-
that’s when all you create is love.
And if New Age philosophy
tells you that love between two people is an illusion,
give up on philosophy,
but don’t give up on love.
